nature vs. nurture

I think that if I could, I'd make it a requirement that all government officials and religious clergy work a minimum of one year as a caretaker. It would be a refining fire for anyone who claims to want to lead by serving. They would come out of it either callous beyond all reckoning, or humbled and sufficiently prepared for their roles as representatives and intercessors. Cleaning up human waste on a regular basis will, in time, show you what sort of person you are.

That thought occurred to me tonight as I was trying to deal with two sick clients, a water leak from the washing machine, and a backed-up toilet full of poop all at the same time. I started to see some of the uglier parts of me rise to the surface--my impatience with my client's refusal to listen to my instructions, my selfishness in caring more about my own inconvenience in having to deal with the situation instead of my clients' wellness, the generally crappy way I tend to deal with crises if I feel overwhelmed. I didn't like the girl with the pissed off expression that I was seeing in the bathroom mirror.

Suddenly, while I was pacing around the wet floor trying to figure out what to do next, I got zapped with conviction about the way I was acting. "You're frustrated right now," I heard God say, "because you feel like what you're doing is trivial. Do you not realize how important your job is? Have you forgotten that these are people you're taking care of, and that every day you have to choose whether you're going to nurture them and encourage them like they deserve or just treat them like an obligation?"

Supposedly I have a gift for nurturing, and every time I think about what that should look like, I think of my mother. She is, without a doubt, the most comforting and nurturing person I've ever known. I was positively spoiled with love from her when I was growing up, and I never felt more loved than when I was sick. When I had the flu as a child, my mom pulled out all the stops of her hospitality. She fed me chicken noodle soup, she changed out my videos on the VCR while I lay in bed, she drew me hot bubble baths and sprinkled scented baby powder on my bedsheets while I dried off. She had, at one point or another, cleaned up every single one of my bodily fluids off the bathroom floor and/or clothing, and she never once complained or made me feel bad for inconveniencing her.

I know that a mother's bond with her children comes with a special serving of grace, but should it really be all that different between any caretaker and the person they're serving? Those who follow Christ are called to love in absurd and impossible ways--why shouldn't I try to love each one of my clients like my mother loved me, especially when so many of them haven't known the care of a parent for years, if at all?

Whether it's undergoing surgery, lying bedridden with the flu, or simply aging, we all have to be cared for at some time in our lives. What sort of heart do you want the person who will be there during your most vulnerable state to have? I think we would do well to think on that, and then make the decision to have that sort of heart ourselves, every day, in all our relationships.

We may find we complain a little less.

We may find we're not as easily offended.

We may find we have more patience than we thought.

We may find we're just a little bit closer to the character of Jesus, and that it's a whole lot less glamorous than we've made it out to be.