Dread update photo--my babies at three weeks, just before Brent, Marc, Heather, and I set off on our trek to CORNERSTONE. Epic times are at hand. I just know it.
My first DIY sewing project: modifying one of my old Whole Foods t-shirts by sewing this huge screenprinted patch on the back that Marc's friends in Nashville made and cutting-and-tying the sides so that it fits tighter. I also cut off the sleeves and neck to make it a tank top. That shirt, plus my cut-off jean shorts, is my holy-crap-New-Orleans-is-hot-in-June ensemble.
Brent playing his didjeridoo (that's what she said??) in my living room this afternoon. It's an oddly calming sound after a while, kind of like the white noise of a box fan lulling you to sleep.
It's funny how quickly a person can change, and for such a multitude of reasons. I'm not oblivious to the transformation I've gone through in the past couple of months. Much of it has been external: I've dreaded my hair, started dressing differently, probably giving off a downright different aura. The reasons are intensely personal and deal with the heart of my personality and my relationship with the Father. The best way I can describe it is to say that, for the first time, I feel like I am myself, and I am living my life. C.S. Lewis says that, contrary to what most people think and fear, growing closer to God means blossoming more and more into the unique, multi-faceted, dynamic individual that you have been created to be. Whoever that is. Whatever that looks like.
My friend Katie recently asked me if I'd be interested in going to Europe with her, and it got me thinking about two summers ago when I went abroad for the first time. My cousin Amy and I recounted over and over again the incredible feeling we had when we came out of Victoria Station and stepped onto the streets of London with all of our suitcases and a little printed map with directions to our hostel and not a single agenda until our flight to Spain two days later. It was a feeling of total empowerment, like someone just tapped us on the shoulder and gestured to the bustling urban cityscape surrounding us, saying "Hey, guess what? You did this. You want to come here and you made it happen, and you can do it again if you want. You are limitless."
I feel a little like that about my life right now. Those limits...Good Lord...does anyone on earth put more limits on us than ourselves? I subdued and walled off the parts of me that I felt were too radical, or too offensive, or too weird, or too unconventional because I was seeking the approval of the people around me. Now, I've gotten to a point where I'd much rather have people's respect for following my convictions and being true to God and myself than have their approval of my every lifestyle choice. It's a much better plan, I think.
See you all after C-Stone! Pray for a safe journey!
- Nik
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