All writers go through it, I'm told. The seemingly endless cycle of worry, self-doubt, and obsession, with only the occasional bumps of accomplishment and satisfaction in the road. We are a self-destructive, self-deprecating lot that is tragically (at least in our own minds) never happy with the craft that is supposed to be sustaining our very breath (or so we imagine).
The cycle goes something like this:
Optimism: "I'm going to pen the great American novel."
Frustration: "Penning the great American novel is much harder than I thought."
Self-doubt: "I can't imagine things were ever this hard for Steinbeck! I must just suck at writing."
Self-sabotage: "The blank page has become a terror to me. I'm going to make my 10th turkey sandwich for the night in order to avoid writing."
Panic: "That's it! I'm finished! I have no ideas, nothing to say, and not even a hint of verbal skill with which to say it! THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT ME!"
Determination: "I'm either going to get 500 words down, or I'm going to sit here until my muscles atrophy and my skin eventually melds into this poorly designed office chair."
Breakthrough: "Hey....I think I may actually have something."
Brief, Fleeting Euphoria: "I love writing!!!! Writing, writing, writing! I shall never doubt my destiny again! Oh, the joy of the written word!"
Optimism: "Maybe I can pen the great American novel after all..."
Rinse and repeat.
I think right now, I'm at the "optimism" point in the cycle, holding on for dear life and trying to enjoy it while it lasts.
Amusingly enough, my friend Ryan gave me a writing challenge this afternoon that may have prompted me to write my first science fiction story. At least that's how it's working out in my head so far. You can check out his blog at http://brontobrothel.wordpress.com/ . The challenge is to come up with a story or a fake essay to explain the meaning of his blog title: A brontosaurus in a brothel.
Interesting. Interesting indeed. Who knows, maybe it'll end up being the great American novel...
=)
5 comments:
1. i almost cried from laughing at this entry's title
2. SO. TRUE. only replace novel with volume/poem in the poet's case. totally there.
3. super stoked about reading any science fiction piece you'd write. i know it's not your cup of tea but i have a sneaking suspicion it'd be excellent.
I would call myself a science fiction BUFF, per say, but I like to think I'm schooled in most of the classics. Bradbury, Asimov, and all that. It's one of the many genres and subcultures that I am perpetually perched on the rim of. =)
optimism occurs about six degrees before top dead center (TDC), so be prepared for a fast ride as soon as you get over the hump. It's funny, you don't go through this cycle when writing is your side project. I'll stop being cynical now. Jesus loves you and you're an awesome writer.
First off, there's no such thing as "the great American novel". So you can just, you know, ease up on that one.
Secondly, if you would like to delve into the sci fi/fantasy literature, I've got a veritable library at the house that you're welcome to choose from.
I find myself missing the pyramids as well, friend.
B
Ooooo....I'm going to take you up on that one soon, Bryan. Right now I'm reading "Specimen Days" by Michael Cunningham which I think is classified as sci-fi. Be thinking of a recommendation for me for when I'm done!
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