INGREDIENTS:
1 fire pit (any kind will do)
1 starter fire log (if unavailable, substitute old telephone books, take-out menus, or other paper products)
2 chairs (preferably the folding kind)
1 bottle Arbor Mist (any flavor will do, just as long as it is labeled "fine wine product" and costs $3.99)
2 drinking containers - the less appropriate to hold $3.99 wine product, the better (coffee mugs are a good choice)
1 old broom handle, or "pokin' stick"
1 dog, dumb and loyal
2 female roommates (best after they've been simmering in a horrible day)
DIRECTIONS:
1. While the first roommate is finishing up the night shift, have second roommate pick up the necessary supplies from the grocery store. The best combination for this is cheap alcohol + fire log, and nothing else. Your goal is to obtain a sideways glance from the cashier, which will give second roommate the proper seasoning blend of amusement and self-pity.
2. When first roommate comes home, have her pay for her half of the supplies with that day's tip money. Prepare Arbor Mist by arguing over the relative deliciousness of the peach, strawberry, and "sangria" flavors. Open the bottle of wine product that doesn't require a corkscrew and pour into coffee mugs.
3. Set up two folding chairs in the backyard near the fire pit. Careful with this step, as you will likely have to avoid the poop piles from the dog that second roommate has neglected to dispose of. Place coffee mugs of Arbor Mist near chairs until needed.
4. Light starter log in fire pit, adding to the initial flames by burning the extra paper items. You will know this step is done when roommates one and two discuss, for the fiftieth time, how much fun it is to burn stuff.
5. Stoke the fire with the "pokin' stick," and let the dog outside to run around frantically in the cool night air and bark at imaginary squirrels. If possible, have her sneak a sip of the Arbor Mist while the coffee mugs are still sitting on the ground.
6. Sit back and enjoy. (The "surprise" is that it's more fun to be white trash than you thought.)
1 comments:
lmao I am sooo sorry I missed out on that!
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